BY ELOISE PARKER

With so many wedding possibilities available to brides these days, it's hard to know what's a "do" and what's a "don't."

"It's becoming more forgiving," says Lauren Brody, a deputy editor at Glamour magazine, whose June issue, on newsstands now, details the results of a recent Glamour.com survey in "45 New Wedding Dos and Don'ts."

Brody says an increasing number of readers are breaking with tradition in a bid to personalize their big day.

"I think some of that probably trickles down from the way celebrities have handled their weddings recently," she explains, citing pregnant Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's last-minute Alice in Wonderland-themed nups as just one offbeat example.

But, while trends for cupcakes instead of a wedding cake and professionally photographed save-the-date portrait cards are on the rise, other customs still hold fast.

"For the big decisions, our readers' taste is still pretty traditional," explains Brody of the survey results. "They don't want to just run off to city hall and they don't necessarily want to podcast their ceremony.

"The main thing that hasn't changed is that brides want their guests to have a wonderful time and that dictates their etiquette more than anything else."

TOP FIVE WEDDING DON'TS

1. Our readers told us it's definitely a "don't" to ask for cash instead of gifts.

2. One wedding planner's advice was, "Don't blow your budget on things that people won't remember or care about, like wedding party favors, which no one really remembers afterward."

3. Don't make your bridesmaids wear matching everything. It's one thing if you want your bridesmaids traditionally all in the same dress, but very few brides exist who still want their girls in the same shoes, hair and jewelry.

4. Don't drink too much. You'll have people bringing you Champagne all day. Just take a sip here and there, but pinch yourself to stay in the moment. You'll want to remember all of it. That goes for guests, too.

5. Don't worry. It's your day and things are going to go right and wrong. Once it's started, just go with it and have a great time. If you're having a good time, everybody else will, too.

TOP FIVE WEDDING DO'S

1. Wait as long as possible to take off the dress. Once it's off, the magic is over and the day is done. So, stay in that dress until the last dance is done and you've waved all your guests off, and make the day last as long as you can.

2. Do prepare if you're giving a speech and run it by a couple of friends. Remember, there are grandparents and even great-grandparents in the audience and they need to appreciate the speech as much as your college roommates.

3. For the bride, look like yourself on your wedding day. Only do red lipstick if you're a red lipstick girl, or wear your hair super-high if you feel comfortable. You don't want to look back at the photos and not be able to recognize yourself.

4. Save money by buying a white bridesmaid's gown as your wedding dress. We found a great Grecian-style long white from ThreadDesign.com for $375. That's a great deal for a wedding gown and no one will be able to tell.

5. Do skip major flowers. You could spend thousands of dollars on them and, the truth is, you can achieve an ethereal look with just a few flowers and candles scattered across the table in a way that's more unique.

RAISE YOUR GLASSES

The wedding toast is often one of the most nerve-racking moments of the day for those involved. Here, two Glamour readers share their favorite toasts:

The naughty toast:

"The groom stood up and announced, 'The bride is now off the market - if anyone has the keys to her place, now's the time to hand them over.'

"Then he put a bowl in the middle of the floor, and all the men started coming up and tossing keys into it. Obviously, he had prearranged it, but it was still hilarious."

The nice toast:

"My uncle said to his son, 'When I came to this country as an immigrant, I wanted to give you a better life than I had. And I know today that the woman you've found is going to do that.'"

BY PHYLLIS FURMAN
DAILY NEWS BUSINESS WRITER

Monday, June 2nd 2008

With the economy sagging, even the most dreamy-eyed couples are worried about how they'll pay for their big day.

Fishella Thomas, 25, had long imagined getting married in a custom-made gown. But as her wedding to longtime sweetheart, Joseph Williams, 27, approached, she decided to buy a dress off the rack at David's Bridal for $800, one-third the price of an original design.

That's not the only way this E. Flatbush, Brooklyn, couple scaled back on their wedding, held May 25 at Antun's catering hall in Queens Village.

The bride and groom, who are expecting a baby, cut their guest list in half, to 120. Thomas, an executive assistant at JPMorgan Chase, and Williams, a clerk at the American Museum of Natural History, kept their wedding budget to $19,000.

"We really had to cut back," Fishella said. "It's the economy and the new baby that's coming."

While affluent New York couples planning six-figure weddings are showing no signs of pulling back, budget-minded couples are thinking twice about overspending.

"I'm not hearing doom and gloom, but the business is not recession-proof," said Antun's owner, Joe King.

The health of the wedding biz is being closely watched by entrepreneurs who entered the bridal market in recent years and by others looking to get in.

Inspired by glitzy celebrity nuptials and themed TV shows, weddings have grown ever more extravagant, driving national spending to $73 billion in 2006 - nearly double what they were 15 years before, according to Conde Nast Bridal Media.

But a recent survey from the National Association of Catering Executives shows the appetite for lavish events is cooling. Of the execs surveyed, 48% said they've seen a decline in wedding spending.

The average price of weddings nationally is $28,704, down slightly from last year, according to the Wedding Report, a research company.

Given very high local costs, New Yorkers typically spend more: an average of $46,229 this year, according to theknot.com.

Eric Ostrow, director of sales and marketing at the Glazier Group, which owns such high-end Manhattan venues as Bridgewaters on Fulton St., said he has not seen a decline in business.

"We find most people have been saving for their children's wedding for years and still want the best," Ostrow said.

But E. 72nd St. florist Marian Kelly has seen couples become much more budget-minded - especially those paying for the wedding themselves.

"They want whatever is in season, which will bring the budget down," Kelly said. Choosing in-season flowers in June, such as peonies and lilacs, instead of lilies of the valley, can cut 50% from a floral budget, she said.

Candy Kantor, co-owner of RK Bridal on W. 39th St. in Manhattan, said she expects sales this year to match last year's. "I'm sure [the economy] is affecting a lot of bridal stores, but we have good pricing," Kantor said. Gowns at her store range from $200 to $3,000.

Last year, Amy Jacobs, a wedding planner in Park Slope, Brooklyn, introduced a lower-priced concierge service as an alternative to her full-fledged wedding planning. For $3,500 to $5,000, she provides couples with a game plan for their wedding, including budget advice and vendor referrals.

What they don't get is Jacobs handling all meetings and contracts with vendors, a service that would cost them 10% of the wedding budget.

The lower-cost option helps couples "afford a wedding planner without having to employ a full service," she said.

While there are still opportunities for entrepreneurs in the wedding business, they have to be mindful of budget conscious brides and grooms.

"I am seeing a lot of people who want to get in who don't have the experience or expertise," said Manhattan event planner Lindsay Landman.

"You need a fresh take," Jacobs added. "Brides and grooms are smart and savvy; they're going to give their money to someone who will work for them."

pfurman@nydailynews.com